Get ready to laugh out loud with the best Erap jokes that will surely tickle your funny bone. From his unforgettable antics to his quirky personality, these jokes capture the essence of Erap in the most hilarious way. Whether you’re a long-time fan or just discovering his charm, this collection promises to bring joy and laughter to your day.
1. Erap’s Wisdom
- “Don’t judge a book if you’re not a judge.”
- “Birds of the same feathers are the same birds.”
- “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you mine.”
- “An apple a day is 7 apples a week.”
2. Erap’s Diet Plan
Doctor: “Eat regularly for two days, then skip a day. Repeat this for two weeks.”
After two weeks, Erap lost 20 pounds.
Doctor: “Amazing! You followed the instructions?”
Erap: “Yes, but I almost collapsed on the third day.”
Doctor: “From hunger?”
Erap: “No, from skipping!”
3. Erap’s Inaugural Speech
Erap: “My countrymen, women, and children and also in the city: The ballots and the penoys have ispoken. I have won by a landscape.”
4. Erap Orders Pizza
Waiter: “Sir, do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 or 8 slices?”
Erap: “4 na lang, baka di ko maubos pag 8.”
5. Erap and the Firing Squad
During an execution, Erap tries to escape by shouting “FIRE!” before the countdown ends, inadvertently giving the command to shoot.
6. Erap’s Geography
Erap: “It’s nice to see people interested in history. But there should also be a seminar about WWT… not only World War Wan but also World War Two.”
7. Erap’s Reaction to a Statistic
Director: “A woman gives birth every 30 seconds in the Philippines.”
Erap: “Ha? You’re right… FIND THAT WOMAN!!!”
8. Erap’s Understanding of “Sugar-Free”
While buying chewing gum:
Erap: “Sukli lang? Asan yung libreng asukal? Sabi dito sa gum wrapper, ‘Sugar Free’!”
9. Erap’s View on Pollution
Reporter: “Mr. President, what are the pollutants in the Philippines?”
Erap: “There are several pollutants. This includes bopis, sisig, sitsaron, daing, liempo, at mani!”
10. Erap’s Time Conversion
Jaric: “How is your Y2K conversion going?”
Erap: “It’s crazy! I can’t imagine going to work from Mondak to Fridak and spend Saturdak and Sundak with the kids. Why do they have to convert Y to K anyway?”
11. Erap’s Emergency
Erap: “Doctor! Doctor! I swallowed a bone.”
Doctor: “Are you choking?”
Erap: “No, I’m serious!”
12. Erap’s Library Call
Erap: “What time do you open?”
Librarian: “9 AM.”
Erap: “Noted. I don’t want to get in; I just want to get out.”
13. Erap’s Definition of “Minimize”
Teacher: “Erap, define ‘minimize.’”
Erap: “Minimize is the girlfriend of Mickey Mice!”
14. Erap’s Space Mission
Russia: “We’re the first in space.”
USA: “We’re the first on the moon.”
Erap: “We’ll be the first on the sun.”
USA: “You can’t land there; it’s too hot.”
Erap: “We’re not stupid; we’ll go at night!”
15. Erap’s Puzzle Achievement
Q: Why was Erap proud of finishing a puzzle in six months?
A: “Because the box said ‘2 to 4 years!’”
16. Erap’s Car Navigation
Q: Why did Erap go around in circles in his car?
A: “His turn signal got stuck!”
17. Erap’s Shoe Label
Q: Why does Erap have “TGIF” written on his shoes?
A: “Toes Go In First.”
18. Erap’s Grenade Encounter
Q: What do you do if Erap throws a grenade at you?
A: “Pull the pin and throw it back.”
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